NLP Practitioner Sydney

John Grinder, co-creator of NLP discuss the link in between respiration, physiology, internal state and high performance. He calls this 'the chain of quality'.

Life Coaching Bren Murphy

I just recently read a book by Osho, the wonderfully non-PC mystic and master. In the book, Osho advised the reader to pay attention to their breathing rate when they were sad, and see the timing of the in-breath and out- breath. It's essential reading at Life Coaching Sydney.  He explained that next time they enjoyed, they might re-induce the sad state by simply repeating the breathing pattern. Thankfully, he added, it works the other way round too!

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Follow some or all these exercises:
To start with. When you are experiencing a powerful, favorable state, permit yourself to become knowledgeable about your breathing rate. Pay specific attention to the timing and rhythm of your in-breath and out-breath.

Secondly. Next time you are in a neutral or negative state, begin breathing at the rate and rhythm from the very first exercise, and within a minute or two, the favorable state should begin to return.  It's one of the benefits of life coaching.

NLP Techniques

Lots of experts advise individuals to do breathing exercises frequently. I know Tony Robbins carries out in his marvellous book 'Unlimited Power' he recommends that you start each day with a breathing exercise of inhaling gradually and deeply, then holding it for twice as long as the inhalation and exhaling in two times the rate.
steps to self mastery

It actually is stimulating and a great method to get encouraged at the start of the day, particularly if you are seeking to do some things with your day that require motivation.  It's one of the strategies shared with Bren Murphy.

Breathing is effective, our vital force and is a major aspect affecting our state of mind (if you uncertain about this, hold your breath for two minutes and re-read this sentence) This being the case, please use your good sense when doing any of these workouts. (If you have a respiratory condition, please consult your health consultant initially. I do not want any asthmatics complaining that they did themselves damage following these workouts!!).

NLP Books and Examples

Thirdly. Start breathing easily however deeply, in through your nose & out through your mouth. Imagine that you are breathing from that location of your abdomen simply beneath your stomach button. It's part of personal coaching.  Make the in-breath last to a count of 5 and the out-breath to a count of 6. Continue for at least 2 minutes, and see what takes place.

This 5:6 ratio appears to be a simple yet powerful method you can induce an unwinded state at will. The art of Yogic breathing is called Pranayama. Pranayama offers various approaches for cleaning the mind & body through breathing workouts. Here's one of them (with thanks to RA Wilson): - they woprk with simple yoga poses for beginners.

NLP Life Coaching Sydney

Fourthly (this may appear a bit odd to do, I 'd suggest not doing this in front of pals or at work!). Lie on your back & pant like a canine, breathing quickly in & out through your mouth 20 times. Then, breathe slowly, deeply and carefully in and out 20 times through your nose. It's a great yoga ashram practice.  Once again, do the mouth-panting 20 times, then resume mild nose-breathing. It's an exercise we share at our wellness retreats.  Notification exactly what takes place. This technique is described as the breath of fire, and usually results in a state of ... well, you'll discover!

These methods can be extremely strongly used when wishing to get in control of your state if you are going through a duration of modification such as decreasing your weight, stopping cigarette smoking or developing more confidence.
Please remember that many people don't breathe almost enough. Begin to breathe more deeply and observe just how much better you feel. Have lots of fun with this. Notification how good you can make your self feel when you breathe differently.

Surviving Dysfunctional Family

The phrase "family dysfunction" is a well-worn descriptor used to label a cluster of common traits or behaviors that permeate and twist the dynamics of a family into a tangled web of unhealthy interactions. 
Family Dysfunction
Although there is no perfect family and each has its examples of historical failure and success, there are those families that are characterized by pervasive patterns of interaction that are most commonly described as dysfunctional behaviors.
Dr. Salvador Minuchin describes the opposite ends of a continuum of family dynamics, both of which are considered dysfunctional. On one end of the spectrum is the enmeshed family that is characterized by an unhealthy connectedness (co-dependency) and blurred boundaries which make it almost impossible for members to emerge with independent personalities. The disengaged family lies at the other extreme end of the continuum. It is made up of parents and children who share basic needs, but little else. It is a family in name only and lacks intimacy and cohesion. Regardless of which end of the spectrum a dysfunctional family occupies, there are traits common to both.
Herbert and Irene Goldberg, pioneers in the field of family systems theory and experienced therapists provide what is considered to be among the most scholarly written works on the subject of family dysfunction. Their books have been in use in the university setting for over a quarter of a century as training texts for family systems therapy. "Family Therapy, An Overview" (Edit. 7, 2008) provides excellent insight into characteristics of dysfunctional families. Goldberg and Goldberg discuss most common traits of both enmeshed and disengaged families.
Family systems therapists generally identify the following unhealthy distinctions of dysfunctional families:

Poor communication

In a dysfunctional family, members tend to communicate poorly and not listen to each other. They talk "at each other," instead of "to each other." Individual feelings are not recognized or validated. Parents lecture rather than participate in a shared conversation. In an enmeshed family, family members are discouraged from having thoughts, ideas, or beliefs that might threaten the way the system currently operates. Parents devalue input from children that questions or challenges their established authority.
Disengaged families simply don't take the time or have the interest in pursuing communication. Family members live, not in community, but in some degree of isolation from each other. There is little mutual accountability or responsibility except in areas that pertain to daily maintenance and/or survival.

Unhealthy boundaries

Dr. Henry Cloud, author of "Boundaries" maintains that boundaries define "Who you are, where you end, and where others begin." Boundaries in relationships are what distinguish each person as an individual with separate thoughts, behaviors, and feelings.
In an enmeshed family, boundaries are rigidly placed around the entire unit and the most powerful individuals control the whole the system. Family members are encouraged to keep and protect family secrets. In an enmeshed family there is lack of privacy and members intrude and interfere in each other's lives. Enmeshed families are frequently characterized by some form of abuse which may include physical, sexual, or substance abuse. Family members who attempt to break free of enmeshment are usually ostracized and accused of betrayal.
The disengaged family has few boundaries. Each member functions independently. Empathy and compassion for family members is often low to non-existent. In contrast with the enmeshed family's over involvement in each other's lives, in the disengaged family there is no sense of cohesiveness or family loyalty. Children in a disengaged family are always neglected to some extent. Physical needs may or may not be met, but emotional needs are neglected. Just as the enmeshed family exerts strong control, the disengaged one has no internal control mechanisms and members tend to react to the community outside the home rather than living in community with others.

Performance-based identities

In the enmeshed family, members are manipulated, coerced, and even shamed into protecting the family. Individuals can feel a tremendous amount of guilt when they fail to live up the expectations of others. Children often have roles that have been scripted by parents. These roles predetermine how they should act in certain situations and deal with outside threats to the family system.
Children who grow up in disengaged families are not taught self-control or how to set personal limits on behavior. They are generally starved for attention and soon learn that they can obtain it through negative behaviors. Teenagers who shop lift and wantonly destroy the property of others are often children growing up in disengaged families. Vandalism and petty theft can be performance-based behaviors that provide individuals a false sense of importance.

Lack of emotional maturity

Family members living in an enmeshed system are not given the opportunity to develop emotional maturity. Sharing personal feelings is a taboo that threatens to expose the family dysfunction. Love is a twisted emotion often conveyed as conditional, dependent upon whether a child or spouse complies with familial expectations. Children who grow up in an environment where there is no emotional security can reach adulthood without being able to label or express what they are feeling appropriately. Where there is no emotional validation, there is no emotional safety.
In a disengaged family there is little, if any, expression of affection. Children grow accustomed to fending for themselves and there is no emotional role model. Disengaged children become street-wise and learn to survive on their own, often resorting to unconventional and lawless methods. Feelings are a luxury that they can ill-afford because giving into a negative emotion can jeopardize survival.

Denial and dishonesty

Both enmeshed and disengaged families tend to live a lie. The enmeshed family preserves the appearance of normalcy while hiding the severity and source of its dysfunction. The disengaged family may deny its very existence but, at the very least, decries the importance of the family unit. Dysfunctional families lie, not only to others, but to themselves. Neither end of the spectrum is willing to honestly confront its dysfunction or take steps to change it. The enmeshed family fears retribution and change. The disengaged family detaches itself from the need to be a part of a family system.
Dysfunctional families generally have one or more dynamics that tend to permeate the entire system and alter the way in which every family member would normally function. These dynamics may include drug and alcohol addiction, mental illness, poor parenting styles, and criminal involvement.
Severely dysfunctional families have little chance to develop normally because of long-term twisted and unhealthy dynamics. These familial patterns force members to abandon dreams and hopes for the future in favor of developing coping mechanisms that will focus on self-preservation. Dysfunctional families don't thrive; Instead, their members spend their lives trying to find ways to survive.

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Coaching Skills for Managers Training

Proactive and Resourceful Coaching

In Personal Life Coaching is based on the belief that the client is both creative and resourceful, and able to come up with their own answers.  In saying this, that relies on the coach being curious and asking questions.  A personal life coach asks questions that are provocative, open-ended, and invite further discussion. 

Managers Training Infographic for Coaching Skills
Coaching Skills for Managers Training Infographic

The questions invite clients to look in a certain direction but the invitation has no preconceived conclusion.  This is important - it's not as though the coach is asking questions with a particular narrative process in mind.  The direction that the client's answers lead do not preclude any alternative - it is genuinely open ended.

These are not leading questions.  And coaches are not at all attached to the answer they receive, or the direction the conversation goes.  Clients will know the direction they want the conversation to lead, and an observant coach will see that it was a dead-end, and ask a different question. Curiosity is a an aware, playful state, full of wonder, exploring boundaries and pushing up against the unknown.  

Curiosity and Wonder

“I wonder what you want?” “I wonder what your life would be like if you could design it to be any way you like?” “I wonder what you are deeply committed to?” “I wonder what’s holding you back?”

 Manager Skills for Personal Coaching Training
 Manager Skills for Coaching Training
The generous space of curiosity is miles wide and open for exploration. Coach and client enter this space together to look around. Curious is somehow less dangerous if you can agree that you may brush against some delicate spaces - remember you are exploring.

Curiosity tends to lower the risk and eliminate the stifling quality of potential judgment. It’s no big deal to look in a curious way. We’re just being curious. And yet, curiosity is enormously powerful because it is so open to be surprised and perhaps find the unexpected truth. 

Safe and Courageous

The space that is created for coaching needs to be safe. In this space, clients will be working on their very lives. It is likely to be a place where they face their Saboteurs and other snares; they may have to face dark corners. This is the heart of a brilliant Life Coach Newcastle.  They will need to take risks in order to grow and make changes. As a coach, you can’t promise that this space will be comfortable but you play an important role in making sure it is safe enough.

The space must also be filled with courage: the client’s courage to step boldly into their lives — sometimes when they’re not all that sure what it is they’re stepping into — and the coach’s courage on the client’s behalf: believing that the client is capable, strong, and enough. The championing that the coach provides is like a shield for meeting challenging people in life.

Confidentiality and Trust

One of these is confidentiality. Clients need to know that what is said in their coaching calls will be held confidential. It is essential to the trust that is necessary in order for clients to open up their lives to coaching. This fundamental ground rule of confidentiality needs to be present and promised very early in the relationship — certainly, during the discovery session

Truth and Authenticity

Telling the truth is another of those fundamental ground rules of coaching; it is essential to building trust and building a relationship strong enough to do the necessary life changing work. Clients expect the coach to speak the truth and not hold back.

Coaches model truth telling as the means for growth. On the contrary, faking it, stepping over issues, playing “nice” when it’s time to tell the hard truth — none of those strategies will serve the client in the long term.  Remember authenticity and alignment.

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Top Ten Speakers - Brendon Burchard

Starting with Brendon Burchard, I'm going to do a series of blogposts on the most influential people in the self development, personal growth and life coaching space.  People always want to know what is out there and who are the most authentic speakers doing the circuits.

In these posts, I want to share with you the key elements of their story, a video or two, maybe a link to their pdf and freebies and some insights into what makes them tick.

Brendon Burchard

The thing about Brendon is he shares the same name with me!!  Seriously though - Brendon has energy and passion and it comes across in a slightly dorky but entirely humble manner.  He is comfortable in his own skin and knows with certainty his own limitations and has made peace with his past failures and obstacles.

A big part of Brendon Burchard is his training - and having his massive Youtube channel just bubbling away in the background whilst I work is one of my success secrets.  You can scroll through the series of videos that are released and updated regularly for a dose of his light and inspirational speaking.

My big takeaway each time I drift over to the Brendon Burchard site is his insistence on taking responsibility and developing a sense of agency.  He call sit developing your own curriculum - as opposed to waiting to be spoonfed some course from some university.  By taking control and putting in the effort and energy to design your own curriculum, you grow and evolve towards your goal.

Accepting that your own perspective will change over time is also a big part of Brendon Burchard's philosophy of learning and life.  Simply learning and absorbing the new information will change you - and for example, you will not be the same person at the end of the book as you were before you picked it up.

Growth and learning and change is all about maintaining resilience - and honouring the process of the struggle.  Facing a challenge with honesty and a calm resilience is a key to success - just as much as grit and determination to continue through the process is.

Best things About Brendon Burchard

1 - He's been there and done that.  He started with nothing and actually went bankrupt in his early days.  Right now he is ranked up there as a social media giant - huge on Facebook, huge on Youtube and just an all round influencer.

2 - He has a history in online business and marketing - and took it on when he did not really know all that much about what he was doing.  And, with just grit, determination and a growth mindset he made something like $4m in one year from internet marketing - and it set him off on his way.

3 - He is a bestselling writer - and he writes powerful books that are based on motivation and inspiration.  I have a copy of his Motivation Manifesto, below is a copy of his latest, Life's Golden Ticket.

4 - His videos have a really authentic nature to them - you will see in his eyes that he genuinely believes what he is saying and has actually lived it.  I think that this was what drew me to him in the first place - his openness and authenticity in sharing his story.

I count Brendon Burchard as a role model and see his openness and willingness to serve as things I want to emulate in my own business.

Let's stay connected...

You can connect with me on 1300 084 004 or get to know me first through my email course by clicking the blue button below.

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Hypnotherapy in Newcastle

Newcastle hypnotherapy Bren Murphy
Hypnotherapy Newcastle with Bren Murphy
Hypnotherapy in Newcastle

Newcastle Hypnotherapist and Mindset Coach Bren Murphy offers day long workshops in Newcastle and the Hunter Valley.

The perfect launching pad for an exploration into personal growth and self development, these action-based seminars are complete with real life steps you can take and implement in your life immediately.

Personal Growth Psychology

Bren Murphy has experienced the highs of running a powerhouse international online business alongside the crushing lows of personal tragedy and loss.  In these one day seminars, you're invited to explore more deeply how your own story, and the meaning and pain you attach to it, shapes your worldview.

Mindset Coach Newcastle

Bren Murphy uses proven scientific techniques learned from Australia's finest life coaching college, including skillsets from Neuro-Linguistic Programming and heart centered coaching.  You'll benefit from an intensive experience of real action and some key takeaways to do right here, today.

Contact Bren Murphy 1300 084 004

Stop Smoking Hypnosis

Weight Loss hypnosis

Newcastle Life Coaching

Hi, my name is Bren Murphy and I and gaining my certification as a Life Coach under Anne Hartley.  Anne Hartley espouses the heart-life method of personal coaching, based on listening and a values based approach.

Bren Murphy Life Coach

I believe Life Coaching is something I have been drawn to after working across various disciplines from studying a law degree to working in an industrial laundry, to supporting people living with severe disabilities, to addiction and recovery experiences, to small business and start-ups.

When I began to immerse myself in the personal development and transformation strategies of life coaching, I realised I had finally found my true passion.

There is something deeply satisfying about helping a person explore and discover their potential through listening and asking questions.

On a personal level, I find myself grounded doing yoga most mornings alongside the awesome teachers at - as well as daily meditation.  In fact I've put together a resource website for the Best Free Guided Meditations - Meditation Australia.

Yoga and Meditation

For more vigorous stress-busting, I keep up a run along Glenrock to Nobbys Beach which takes me just on 100 minutes.  It's a great combination - running and yoga - and I intend to keep entering half marathons so long as my boy keeps up!

I am the Principal of boutique Newcastle Website Design - Organic Digital - and am always looking for new opportunities with Health and Wellness websites.

My other interest is in Kindness Australia - a non-profit start-up I founded to spread the power of taking action on kindness.